Scarlet Meanies

This household brought to you by the letter "M" and the number One , Bitches.

Symbol

Description

Four words: Evil and More Evil. Damn right.

We are all that is wrong with the game today. The entire purpose of our lives is to ruin and destroy the game of Amtgard, to mangle and desecrate the fun of all of those who are not us. We boil babies in sesame oil and use their bones to pick our teeth. We blast Bryan Adams songs during court. We core out your weapons when you're not looking. We sneak into your tent and dutch oven you while you sleep. We hate Ugly People. And Fat People. And we REALLY hate ugly, fat people.

Yeah, that's right. We're Meanies. Big, Bad, Horrible, Mean Old Meanies.

To Join

Riiiiight... Like we'd let you join US. Maybe... Just maybe we might let you join if you are pretty enough, smart enough, and evil enough.

History

The Scarlet Meanies are a new household, centered in the Iron Mountains, filled with all of the hateful oppressors of that most dreaded of black holes of Evilness, "The Core." We are the present incarnations of some of the most dreaded murderers and oppressors throughout history.

Our Goal

Our evil plan is to slowly and surely gain absolute domination. Today Amtgard, Tomorrow, the World!!! *insert evil laughter track here*

Members

• Casca - Cascigula
• Cullum - Culeiman the Magnificent
• Cutari - Ayatollah Khutari
• Grendel - Grenghis Khan
• Kord - Kordolf Hitler
• Medryn - Meddy de Sade
• Micah - Micahlò Machiavelli
• Moss - Benito Mossolini
• Takezu - Takezu de Torquemada
• Talisin - Joseph Stalisin
• Weezicus- Weez DeLarge
• Zumat - Mao Z Dong

Introductions, Interviews, and Outtakes

"Hi, my name is Joseph Stalisin! I'm a Pisces and my favorite things are long walks on the beach, the smell of a good log fire and roasting peasants in an open pit. My heroes include Patrick Bateman, Henry VIII, Niccolò Machiavelli, Lancelot and Hannibal Lecter. I've been in Amtgard for a really long time now, but I've only really been evil since 1999. I suppose you could say that I started down the road to evil in 1995 after a series of personal traumas showed me the inherent flaws in being a good guy, but when I received my first knight's belt, well, I guess you could say that's when my true inner evil began to flourish. There is NOTHING like standing over the "little people" and crushing them with an iron fist, secure in your own superiority. And cake. Cake is good, too. Turn-offs include knuckle-cracking, body odor, people too stupid to even BE manipulated and elections that haven't been properly rigged." - Stalisin

"Greetings and Salutations! My name is Kordolf Hitler. I'm a relative new-comer to the evil scene, having only really broken into the market at Rakis of 2006. I've been in Amtgard since 1995, but it took me a long time and a lot of exposure to fully complete my conversion to the dark side. And I gotta tell you, it feels great to be evil! Nothing pleases me more than to be able to squash the hopes and dreams of yougn impressionable Amtgards beneath my Draconian-purple Stilleto heels. Some of my heroes include Good ol' Joe Stalin, Pol Pot, Caligula, and Simon Cowell. I enjoy kicking small children, stealing squires, ripping apart families, eating red meat, and bonsai grooming. Turn-offs include lack of punctuation, needles, passive-aggressive behavior, and the scent of lavendar." -Kordolf

"Hi, i'm Cascigula. My turn ons include killing endangered species for gourmet meals, hiking, sharpened sporks, well constructed insults, and the scent of burning flesh. I enjoy pretending to befriend people and then later stabbing them in the back with drawn out rants at their expense, as well as being a well-renown interkingdom instigator and troublemaker. My turn offs include Frankie Smith, boquets of roses, and necks that don't sever with the first ax chop. My idols include Attila the Hun, Elizabeth Bathory, Alferd Packer, and MacGuyver. I started evil when I was really too young to recall. My earliest memory of being evil is when I was 5. ...My mom got me a doll for my birthday, but I wanted troops to invade Canada with, not a stupid doll. I spent the rest of my birthday making minescule thumbscrews and a miniature iron maiden to torture that doll with. My mother found its battered remains stuffed into her morning pot of coffee the next day... *far away smile* Ahhh.... Yes, those were the days..." -Cascigula

"Takezu de Torquemada, Founder of the IM inquisition here. Guess I will never know when I turned to evil but if I had to guess it all started when it hit me that no one could ever tell Po or Takezu apart. Thus I whenever I got into trouble it was easy to shift blame to Po. Any act of suppression was simple, Do what you want then blame Po for being evil. The system worked well until Po left for greener pastures and I was forced to find another way to enact my devious plans to enact my plans for IM domination. That was of course politics, as religion just takes so dam long to enact and you almost always have to be dead to be worshiped as a god I truly am. Oh and what a ride it has been. Favorite activities brokering votes, Corpora bending and of course the star chamber. Turn offs koolaid and people who can’t understand its not there turn yet." -Torquemada

"Greetings, I am Culeiman the Magnificent, Scourge of All Christendom (and Those Guys Out East, Too). After a long and storied career as a good guy, I turned to evil after it came out that "things weren't like this" when I was King. I have to say, I've never looked back, and am having the time of my life! I enjoy the moral high-ground and the works of great artists, like the fiddle music of Nero and the performance pieces of the Marquis de Sade, and mocking people until they can no longer sustain an erection (and then mocking them for that). My heroes include Napoleon Boneparte, Saladin, the last King of Scotland, Idi Aman, and my personal Lord and Savior, JC his own bad self. Likes include the domination of the will of others, stealing candy from babies (and those who act like them)... mmmm, candy, and being right (which I always am, BTW). Dislikes include poor grammar, the misuse of the word "alot," people who think that everyone thinks the same way they do, Aramitharis references, ego trips, monkeys (except the one), Gog (but not Magog), Paris (Hilton), Paris (France), Paris (of Troy), Eric Bana, Banananananas, monkeys again (but still except the one), poo-flinging monkeys (literal or metaphorical), exercise, poorly rigged elections, obvious political manipulation (you should be good enough not to get caught, sheesh!), people who think that "to," "too," and "two" are interchangeable, people who don't think, people who think too much, people who let their fear control them, people who don't fear me, the letters "Q" and "G" and the number 12, and monkeys (except the one)." -Culeiman

"Greetings peon, I would just like to take some time to talk about myself. I'm "The Core" you've heard everyone talking about, yep that's me. I guess it all started with under the table deals with Kordolf a couple years back to rise to power. I used to run with the Rogues but they were just too nice for my taste. Now I enjoy impalements by sunset, making fun of kids from all over, recently in the eastern midwest, running off members of the park, and various other acts of spiritual debasement. I go a viking and raiding in my (little) spare time, ensuring the spread of my pagan ways and seed. my turn offs are people with tiny hands, cold feet on my back in the middle of the night, Takezu's hat collection, customer service complaints, kids who don't stand up for themselves, people that prey upon the weakness of the young and inexperienced (because that's MY job) and Stalisin's cooking." -Grenghis

"There was me, that is Weez, and my droogs, mulling, as it were, over my achievements. Achievements such as what some might call rigging althings and disenfranchising voters in other parks. When I've been in the mood for something a bit more unmuddied I assisted with 2 park killings and shivved my inner flurb. I like long walks on the beach, Kamakazi's, Stick-Jockery, kitties, Beethoven, and a healthy dose of the old ultra-violence." - Weez DeLarge

Stalisin: "The Scarlet Meanies: Don't Hate Us Because We're Beautiful."

"Hello, Kiddies! I'm Micahlò Machiavelli. I have always been secretly mean but only pretend to be good to earn the trust of the goodie two shoes so that I can enjoy more completely the anguish and pure agony I see in their eyes when I ultimately crush the dreams right out of them! This has had an added benefit that I have recently been able to start my own bottled water line that I call Tear of Sadness Water “Comprised of 100% Broken Dreams Right from the Source!”. My many feats of cruelty include but are not limited to: possession of innocent souls (dirty ones just ain’t fun), defiling good people's bathrooms, dragging people down paths of doom with good intentions, implanting strings on everyone I know so that I can control them and ultimately make them suffer, peeps, peanut butter, and I insist on being passive aggressive and telling everyone else how bad a good person is. I enjoy long walks with 14 slaves pulling my chariot across burning sands while they are barefoot, showing up randomly to tupperware parties, the letter Q, and consuming babies and noobs as a mid-morning snack." -Micahlò Machiavelli

"To accomplish great destruction and sorrow, you must crush them even after they're down. Make sure and use your heel, too... it hurts more and really gets the point across." -Quoted from Micahlò Machiavelli, discussing his ditching tactics

Evil Deeds

This section is dedicated to horrors of the world that Scarlet Meanies can lay claim to.

• Grenghis Kahn, through a long and subtle campaign of subterfuge, is responsible for Brennon's hatred of the assassin class.
• Mao Z Dong is responsible for the intentional deaths of more dogs via impacted testicles than any other Amtgarder in recorded history.
• Ayatollah Khutari is single-handedly responsible for the decline of Harvest War from its former glory.
• Kordolf infiltrated the Darkjesters inner circle in order to sully their good name, and his machinations eventually destroyed them from within.
• Cascigula has brainwashed a full third of e-sam to act as her private army. Major generals include Kane, Bangor, Lurker, Loptr, and Forest.
• Meddy de Sade, alone and unaided, manipulated the Circle of Monarchs, through devious chicanery, to vote to accept the far inferior Dor Un Avathar 8.0 as the official monster rules for Amtgard.
• Joseph Stalisin has been slowly but surely rigging althings with the eventual goal of being named life-long god empress of the Iron Mountains.
• Under the guise of peaceful mediation, Takezu de Torquemada poisoned the ears of the members of Mists of the Dawn against their loving neighbor parks.
• Cascigula, before uprooting to the Iron Mountains, planted the seeds of dissention in Neverwinter which eventually culminated in the decline of Dragons Keep and Darkwater East, and the rise of the Sakura Moon Empire.
• Culeiman the Magnificent, discontent with reserving his vileness for the realms of Amtgardia alone, is the cause of global warming and, in a wanton act of sophistry, also can lay claim to the subsequent popular disbelief in global warming.
• The true depths of Benito Mossolini's evil is unknown due to his mastery of artful duplicity. What is known, however, is that he was responsible for the training of all his fellow Scarlet Meanies and their descent to the dark side. As was overheard, ".. all things become like M... ".

Photos

"Ooooo! I've got it!
'Kordolf: I'm in ur household, steeling ur squirez!'
No wait...
'Kordolf: Ruinin' Misties fun since 2006.'
Oh! Even better...
'Kordolf: I MADE MIKE HUCKABEE!'
Hmm... How about:
'It's not paranoia. Kordolf really is out to get you.'
Maybe an AoD reference?
'Female: Are all people from the core vindictive megalomaniacs?
Kordolf: Just me, baby. Just me.'
Ahh... Here it is...
'Kordolf: Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhnnnn!!!!'"

Stalisin: Repressing peasants since 1999.

The favored drink of the Scarlet Meanies.

The favored snack food of the Scarlet Meanies.

Recommended by the Scarlet Meanies.

Grenghis Khan over a fallen enemy, while Culeiman the Magnificent looks on.

Mao Z Dong contemplating his next atrocity.

More Information

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