Difference between revisions of "The Cock Sucking Song"

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(Short of deletion, this is my attempt to alter this page in respect to the Amtgard Youth Policy; I added a content warning at the top and reformatted the mature content so that it's all contained within a pre-collapsed table.)
 
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{| width="100%" style="border: 3px solid #be1931; background:#fff2f6;"
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|style="padding-top:10px;" align="center"| <font size="5"> ⛔ '''Warning''' ⛔ </font>
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|style="padding-bottom:10px;" align="center"| This page contains sexually explicit content. Reader discretion is advised.
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|}
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==The Cock Sucking Song or It All Comes Down to Cock Sucking==
 
==The Cock Sucking Song or It All Comes Down to Cock Sucking==
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I wrote this filk to a mix of tunes: The Verses are "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks and the Chorus is the harmony to "Margaritavile" by Jimmy Buffett. At Rakis, in 2001, I blew my knee out during the Jugging.  As a result of this I was unable to attend the bardic and was singing songs at my camp.  King Crom asked me to sing a song about oral sex.  I informed him that I didn't have one and he commanded me to write one.  All the verses are based on snippets of conversation by the Raiders from that weekend.  This remains one of my most popular songs.<BR> 
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{| role="presentation" class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
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By -[[Thalen]]
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| [[Thalen]]: I wrote this [[filk]] to a mix of tunes: The Verses are "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks and the Chorus is the harmony to "Margaritavile" by Jimmy Buffett.
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|-
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| More details: At [[Rakis]], in [[2001]], I blew my knee out during the [[Jugging]].  As a result of this I was unable to attend the [[bardic]] and was singing songs at my camp.  [[King]] [[Crom]] asked me to sing a song about oral sex.  I informed him that I didn't have one and he commanded me to write one.  All the verses are based on snippets of conversation by the [[Raiders]] from that weekend.  This remains one of my most popular songs.
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There’s a theory that says <br>
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|-  
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It’s all about head<br>
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|
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That the world is a real simple place<br>
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|-
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I don’t care where you sit<br>
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| There’s a theory that says  
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It’s always swallow or spit<br>
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|-
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Either way there’s still a dick in your face.<br>
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| It’s all about head
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If you don’t think that I’m right<br>
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|-
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Just remember last night<br>
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| That the world is a real simple place
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And what I said when I shot my load<br>
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|-
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“You’re not the best, and<br>
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| I don’t care where you sit
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Baby, I’m not impressed,<br>
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|-
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But it’s better than fucking a goat!”<br><BR>
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| It’s always swallow or spit
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|-
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<I>But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick<br>
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| Either way there’s still a dick in your face.
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A willy, a winkie, a wank<br>
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|-
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So get me a beer<br>
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| If you don’t think that I’m right
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And get on your knees, my dear,<br>
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|-
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Because I’d like to see you gobble my crank.</I><br><BR>
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| Just remember last night
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|-
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| And what I said when I shot my load
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No shit, there I was<br>
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|-
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Cock deep in fudge<br>
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| “You’re not the best, and
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And loving the wet plunging sound.<br>
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|-
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Don’t ask me why<br>
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| Baby, I’m not impressed,
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It’ll just make you cry<br>
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|-
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When you hear what I did to that clown,<br>
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| But it’s better than fucking a goat!”
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But there’s a time in your life<br>
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|-
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When the feeling is right<br>
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|
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And you know that it won’t come again.<br>
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|-
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So you whip out your cack<br>
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| ''But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick''
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And you spread open their crack<br>
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|-
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And you ask if they want crunchy or plain?<br><BR>
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| ''A willy, a winkie, a wank''
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|-
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<I>But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick<br>
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| ''So get me a beer''
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A chubby, a stiffy, a rod<br>
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|-
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So get me a beer<br>
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| ''And get on your knees, my dear,''
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And back on your knees, my dear,<br>
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|-
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Because it’s time for you to polish my nob.</I><br><BR>
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| ''Because I’d like to see you gobble my crank.''
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|-
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Well, we all have our dreams<br>
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|
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It’s not as bad as it seems<br>
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|-
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If there’s a fetish you just gotta have<br>
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| No shit, there I was
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You could sit in some pee<br>
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|-
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Or fuck a quad amputee<br>
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| Cock deep in fudge
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Or love the touch of a midget’s small hand<br>
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|-
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So if you don’t get too drunk<br>
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| And loving the wet plunging sound.
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When you’re looking to fuck<br>
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|-
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You too can have your taste of the pie<br>
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| Don’t ask me why
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But if you don’t get your way<br>
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|-
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Then we just might hear you say<br>
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| It’ll just make you cry
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“I never thought I’d give pearls to a guy!”<br><BR>
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|-
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| When you hear what I did to that clown,
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<I>But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick<br>
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|-
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And it's bigger than Crom's tater-tot!<br>
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| But there’s a time in your life
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So get me a beer<br>
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|-
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And back on your knees, my dear,<br>
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| When the feeling is right
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Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock.<br>
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|-
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That's right, I said, get me a beer<br>
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| And you know that it won’t come again.
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And back on your knees, my dear,<br>
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|-
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Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock.</I><br><BR>
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| So you whip out your cack
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|-
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| And you spread open their crack
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Copyrighted Thalen Tannon 2002
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|-
 +
| And you ask if they want crunchy or plain?
 +
|-
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
| ''But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick''
 +
|-
 +
| ''A chubby, a stiffy, a rod''
 +
|-
 +
| ''So get me a beer''
 +
|-
 +
| ''And back on your knees, my dear,''
 +
|-
 +
| ''Because it’s time for you to polish my nob.''
 +
|-
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
| Well, we all have our dreams
 +
|-
 +
| It’s not as bad as it seems
 +
|-
 +
| If there’s a fetish you just gotta have
 +
|-
 +
| You could sit in some pee
 +
|-
 +
| Or fuck a quad amputee
 +
|-
 +
| Or love the touch of a midget’s small hand
 +
|-
 +
| So if you don’t get too drunk
 +
|-
 +
| When you’re looking to fuck
 +
|-
 +
| You too can have your taste of the pie
 +
|-
 +
| But if you don’t get your way
 +
|-
 +
| Then we just might hear you say
 +
|-
 +
| “I never thought I’d give pearls to a guy!”
 +
|-
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
| ''But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick''
 +
|-
 +
| ''And it's bigger than Crom's tater-tot!''
 +
|-
 +
| ''So get me a beer''
 +
|-
 +
| ''And back on your knees, my dear,''
 +
|-
 +
| ''Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock.''
 +
|-
 +
| ''That's right, I said, get me a beer''
 +
|-
 +
| ''And back on your knees, my dear,''
 +
|-
 +
| ''Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock.''
 +
|-
 +
|
 +
|-
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| Copyright Thalen Tannon [[2002]]
 +
|}
  
  
 
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[[category: Amtgard Songs]]
 
[[category: Amtgard Songs]]

Latest revision as of 03:36, 10 February 2024

⛔ Warning ⛔
This page contains sexually explicit content. Reader discretion is advised.

The Cock Sucking Song or It All Comes Down to Cock Sucking


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