The Cock Sucking Song
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| ⛔ Warning ⛔ |
| This page contains sexually explicit content. Reader discretion is advised. |
The Cock Sucking Song or It All Comes Down to Cock Sucking
| Thalen: I wrote this filk to a mix of tunes: The Verses are "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks and the Chorus is the harmony to "Margaritavile" by Jimmy Buffett. |
| More details: At Rakis, in 2001, I blew my knee out during the Jugging. As a result of this I was unable to attend the bardic and was singing songs at my camp. King Crom asked me to sing a song about oral sex. I informed him that I didn't have one and he commanded me to write one. All the verses are based on snippets of conversation by the Raiders from that weekend. This remains one of my most popular songs. |
| There’s a theory that says |
| It’s all about head |
| That the world is a real simple place |
| I don’t care where you sit |
| It’s always swallow or spit |
| Either way there’s still a dick in your face. |
| If you don’t think that I’m right |
| Just remember last night |
| And what I said when I shot my load |
| “You’re not the best, and |
| Baby, I’m not impressed, |
| But it’s better than fucking a goat!” |
| But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick |
| A willy, a winkie, a wank |
| So get me a beer |
| And get on your knees, my dear, |
| Because I’d like to see you gobble my crank. |
| No shit, there I was |
| Cock deep in fudge |
| And loving the wet plunging sound. |
| Don’t ask me why |
| It’ll just make you cry |
| When you hear what I did to that clown, |
| But there’s a time in your life |
| When the feeling is right |
| And you know that it won’t come again. |
| So you whip out your cack |
| And you spread open their crack |
| And you ask if they want crunchy or plain? |
| But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick |
| A chubby, a stiffy, a rod |
| So get me a beer |
| And back on your knees, my dear, |
| Because it’s time for you to polish my nob. |
| Well, we all have our dreams |
| It’s not as bad as it seems |
| If there’s a fetish you just gotta have |
| You could sit in some pee |
| Or fuck a quad amputee |
| Or love the touch of a midget’s small hand |
| So if you don’t get too drunk |
| When you’re looking to fuck |
| You too can have your taste of the pie |
| But if you don’t get your way |
| Then we just might hear you say |
| “I never thought I’d give pearls to a guy!” |
| But I’m sure damn glad that I gotta dick |
| And it's bigger than Crom's tater-tot! |
| So get me a beer |
| And back on your knees, my dear, |
| Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock. |
| That's right, I said, get me a beer |
| And back on your knees, my dear, |
| Because you haven’t finished sucking my cock. |
| Copyright Thalen Tannon 2002 |
