Lalailom the Lusty Wench

A tribute composed by Staccatto Toccata.

Composer's Note

I want to let it be known that Lalailom is a very sweet and highly respectable woman. I was originally going to write a slow, melancholy song about her and her husband leaving the Crimson Sanctum, but she kept playfully teasing fun of me as I was trying to figure out the chords. I told her that if she kept ribbing me, I was going to write a song titled "Lalailom the Lusty Wench" instead... and once I said a title like that, I couldn't help but write it.

The chorus is played after every verse, including the last one. The modified chorus is played just before the last verse and is usually good for a laugh.

Thank you for reading!

Chorus

Dm to Gm

Lalailom the Lusty Wench, Lalailom the Lusty Wench

A to Dm

Lalailom the Lusty Wench, Lalailom the Lusty Wench

Modified Chorus

You can kiss her and hold her, Lalailom the Lusty Wench.

Spank her and scold her, Lalailom the Lusty Wench.

Verses

The first verse is sung slowly and melodramatically, playfully imitating troubadour style music.

The verses two and three are less sung and more yelled, much more in the style of a drinking song.

Verse One

(Walk Am up, from 5th string to 1st)

I dream of a fair maiden, who is chaste and pure,

Who loves me and me only, both loyal and demure.

I dream of a budding flower, untouched by any man.

But I’ll settle… for Lalailom the Lusty Wench.

Verse Two

(The verses are mostly yelled, not sung, and there is no guitar less otherwise indicated)

There once were forty sailors, fresh from the high seas

Each wanted a buxom woman to give a sailor’s squeeze.

So they shambled to the tavern and ordered up some mead

To get served and serviced by Lalailom, who knew how to satisfy all their needs.

Because –

Dm

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

C

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Dm

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

No chord

Send him to Lalailom the Lusty Wench!

Verse Three

The day of The Invasion, Lalailom was nowhere in sight

Though she saved more lives that day than most thought she might,

For she left on secret mission, clothed by black of night.

The result? Forty foreign cavalry, left too exhausted to fight!

(Spoken, breaking rhythm)

... The horses too!

Verse Four

Sir Downfall came to town one day with his knightly revelry.

Lalailom offered him her wares, down on bended knee...s (This is slurred with the beginning of the next line to partially mask the pluralization)

Sir Downfall saw, in her craft, great dexterity.

For it was has her deft and dexterous hands that earned that Squire's belt you see!