As a guy, what can I do to support women fighters?
This is an excerpt from the June 2018 House Lionesse panel on women's fighting. The panelists offer suggestions for male allies.
Give them props after a ditch. Give them a props after a game, give them props after a quest. Give them something noteworthy for them to come away with. We have this culture of giving an award for things--honestly, just give someone a thumbs up and a high-five. Say that was a good one-on-one fight, that was a good bit of creative swordplay or blocking that happened. Just boost egos because sometimes our egos are not there, because this game has done things to them that we don't like. At least in my case. Not saying that for any of these other ladies.
Yes, praise the female fighters you see for the things they’re doing on field, but don't praise them for being a woman. I know it comes from a good place, I really do. And I got it from good-natured people that I love, and they're my very best friends--but I hate hearing the phrase “it's so good to see a woman on the field.” Yes, I get where it comes from, you want to see more women on the field--but man, just tell me I threw a good shot. Tell me you you liked what I did there, I got a good kill, did well in the game. Don't say “because you're a woman” right? That's not why I'm here. I'm not here to be the best girl, I'm here to be the best and that's what it should be acknowledged as.
If you're gonna take one thing away from this panel, that should be one of the things. What Lindsay said there, encourage the women like “hey, that was just a freaking sweet block you caught”, “hey, that shot was awesome, you got me right on the shoulder and it was super clean,” “hey I'm really glad to see you today” Any sort of positive welcoming thing, that you could say to a man or a woman. That's super cool, do that! But the second you start qualifying her success because of her gender--we don't like that, that's unnecessary. Being a woman is not a thing I'm contributing, but my excellent blocks are. Please, acknowledge the thing I'm working hard on .
