Akuma Mata
Contents
Akuma Matata Gouken, of Dark Shores, Iron Mountains
”The warrior once known as Lokin Lochnavar, once known as Gladius, once known as Gladius Furia, twice elected to the mandatory janitorial squad on the 5th moon of the Zartan system following the rebellion at gorlach, once known as Mezostophrileas, thrice dwelling in the barren world. High champion of The Morgan, once known as the Followers of Rathma, twice known as The Gathering, once removed from the temple, and currently seeking the lost faiths. Priest to the Descended Angels of Gararathmos, 2nd rider of 7th battalion of the host of Mezomorthos, bearing the title of "Lord of the Bronx elephantos", named Boolabooch Metatarsus, and sometimes, while sparingly, referred to as Anne Heche”-Gabriel
"Just wait 'till the ditch bitch!" Akuma to Grail.
"I'm sure the reason why we have two hands is so we can hold two beers."
"I will bop you in the dick!"
"What is this polearm made of, you ask? Well it's complicated really. It's core is the bones of Jesus, it's padded with his prayers from his crucifixion, covered with his tears."~ Akuma talks of his warpole "The Peace Maker".
"If the job ain't worth going all out then why order a chesseburger unless there's steak at home?"
"Oh for the love of god..." - Gabriel's response to 70% of Akuma's utterances, actions, and several accumulated religious atrocities.
Biography
Akuma began playing Amtgard solidly in the spring of 2008. He has since become a talented fighter, artisan, and a capable, if not polarizing Sheriff.
Has revitalized his once dead fighter company into a newly formed Household, known as House Hearalds of the Nephilim. The household deals primarily with the Arts and Sciences. Usually house members show up to Akuma's appartment, give him good ideas and they watch in amazment as he presses out weapons and garb. For info on joining the household talk to Akuma. He likes having worshipers.
Obsessed with any and all things phallic.
Affiliated Groups
Belted Family
Notable Accomplishments
Dark Shores 4th reign Dragonmaster
He is Sir Raphael's crudely constructed shadow
He is Dark Shores 5th reign Weapon Master and Dragon Master
He is Canadian, and no he doesn't say eh all the time and his head doesn't bobble like in South Park either.
Has been seen with some really messed up haircuts. Most notably, the broccoli tuft on the forehead with the mangy stubble patches as debuted at the first Olympus coronation.
Is single handedly responsible for the destruction of our previous park. Full details on the incident, can be viewed on the info page for House Keep It Away.
As punishment for his borderline insane number of name changes, at the beginning of his second term Sheriff Gabriel Viridian imposed the surname "Matata" upon him, for the duration of Akuma's term as Champion. He has apparently grown attached to said burden, and has elected to keep it.
Has an uncanny knack for pissing people off for long periods of time.
Loves nut shots.
Is the reason why the rum is always gone.
Is the owner of multiple polearms all of which are responsible for a vast majority of the nut shots in Dark Shores. -His speed pole dubbed "The Dick Stick" delivered a nut strike to fellow park member Intesif which the populace factored out to have struck 10 times with a single blow, causing him to nearly vomit and kept him on the ground for about 15 minutes. Sir Raphael and Man at Arms Lumpy visited and witnessed this atrocity of man hood mutilation. -Is the owner of the fighter company ArcLight's war pole. -His favorite pole arm though, The Peace Maker, he bought online from warlordsports.com is his most used and cherished weapon. He describes it to new comers as the one of the greatest things he has ever known. See quotes for more details.
