How do you deal with creepers?
This is an excerpt from the June 2018 House Lionesse panel on women's fighting. Panelists offer some ideas about how the game can deal with creepy players.
I'm gonna put it more on the men, to be honest. Women calling it out when they have a creeper? We all know, as female fighters and as women in the game, sometimes we're not believed--all the time, we're not believed. Or it's oh, he only does it sometimes, really doesn't mean it, he was drunk. Or I never saw that, he's never done that to me. But there's also times where it happens that's very blatant. And men need to call it out! They need to point at it when they see it and say, that's not acceptable, that's not appropriate. And I don't mean you pull them off to the side later. I mean, if it happens on the field and and you see it happening, somebody is getting harassed--even if it's like a light-hearted funny haha kind of way, no. You have to--immediately, once it happens, when the words leave his mouth and the action happens, it's kind of on the guys to be like, that's not okay, you can't do that here, if you ever do it again we're gonna take action against you. Women call it out all the time and often nothing happens and it's really unfortunate. We have to have the people that, unfortunately, are listened to more than we are, calling it out as well. It can't just be us.
Allies, we need allies. I have an incredible park, and the guys in my park are so supportive. They're so welcoming, I have never felt uncomfortable to jump onto a ditch field with any of them. When I go to other tournaments and they're there, I feel safe. I feel like they've got my back. A lot of them are my company members. Having that comfort level, knowing that somebody's got your back, I think it's important. When you go in, find your friend! Make sure that you got that buddy system, even when you’re eventing. You don't have to be alone. And again, if you see something, say something. It happens all the time, all the time. And a lot of guys will just be like--I hate when guys make excuses for their buddies, that's the thing that drives me crazy. Please don't, please just don't. “oh no he's just super shy, oh no it's it's just cuz he's geeky, that's normal, oh he was drunk, he's not normally like this, I'm sure he didn't mean it that way” We have all seen this! You are excusing the behavior and you are making sure that the environment is safe for them to continue doing it. Be on our side, please, just help us out. Don't perpetuate that as being an okay thing. Listen, just listen. If we say “hey, he made me very uncomfortable, he said those things, I don't feel really good here”-- OK. Even if you don't agree, or whatever, just acknowledge--that can be honestly the greatest thing. Just acknowledge that is a thing, that it's happening and that you’re aware. For those who are seriously our allies in this, say something! If it's really your buddy, you should feel ok to be like “hey man, don't do that, that's really unnecessary.”
