Cone of Fire

The Ballad of Blah’Win

I wrote this filk to tune from "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. I watched an interview with Billy Connolly wherein he talked about the strange custom of Scottish Cone Dancing. Someone would stand on a table, lift their kilt, stick a rolled newspaper up their bum, and dance until the flame went out or got close enough to singe hair. I knew there had to be a song in that. Since Father Thomas is mentioned in the song, this remains his favorite song of mine.
By -Thalen

When I'm out with all my friends
The drinkin' never ends.
They bet me once I wouldn't do it
I was on the bar before you knew it.

And in my arse went a burning
Cone of Fire
I blew some gas
And the flames leapt higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
That Cone of Fire
That Cone of Fire

Well the dancing was getting slow,
And the flames were dying low.
I thought we all had had our fun;
My friends told me I wasn't done

And in my arse went another
Cone of Fire
The first one got me up,
But the second got me higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
That Cone of Fire
That Cone of Fire

My friends and I we drink and flirt
So drop your pants you can keep your shirt.
And If I've got one thought to give
It's drink 'till you're too drunk to live.

And in your Arse will go a burning
Cone of Fire.
The pain won't last,
But the pictures are for-i-ver.
And it burns, burns, burns
That Cone of Fire
That Cone of Fire

There are tests we all must face;
Flames of pride and of disgrace.
And of all the Dancers who came before us
None has an arse like Father Thomas!

For in His arse went a burning
Log of Fire.
Went three feet deep, I tell you I'm no liar,
And it burns, burns, burns
That Log of Fire,
That Log of Fire.
Oh yes, it burns, burns, burns
That Log of Fire,
That Log of Fire.

Copyrighted Thalen Tannon 1999

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