Bolt!

A Gentle Stab at a Prominent Member of the Claw Legion (To the tune of "Help!" by the Beatles) By Sir Topknot

Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone. Help!

When I was younger, just a newbie in this Game
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now those days are gone, I'm not so self-assured
There's this guy who kicks my ass when I fight sword & board

Help me if you can to kill Sir Bolt
I am sick of being speared upon his pole
Help me give my self-esteem a jolt
Won't you please, please help me

And now this Game has changed in oh so many ways
My chance of beating him has vanished in the haze
So I got back at him, did what I had to do
And so I slipped some Nair into his bottle of shampoo

Help me if you can to kill Sir Bolt
I am sick of being speared upon his pole
Help me give my self-esteem a jolt
Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, just a newbie in this Game
I never needed anybody's help in any way
Bu now those days are gone, I'm not so self-assured
There's this guy who kicks my ass when I fight sword & board

Help me if you can to kill Sir Bolt
I am sick of being speared upon his pole
Help me give my self-esteem a jolt
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me.... ohhhhhh

February 6, 1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff