Ausway
Contents
Man-at-Arms Master Ausway, of The River's End, Desert Winds
The Poser
”It's not the right way, it's not the wrong way, it's the ausway...”
Biography
The Ausway was found at the bottom of a deep ravine one rainy afternoon by a group of traveling circus animals. These silly animals thought that they had found a nice snack, but the Ausway had other plans. Thinking quickly, he said "hey look, isn't that your old circus tent?" Well, this scared the crap out of the lion, the dancing bear and the white horsies so badly that they stampeded away into the growing twilight. That just left...the tiger. The mean, rotten-toothed, bad-tempered tiger. He was also quite hungry and did not like smelly, scratched up humans because he remembered in his own youthful days how lithe and graceful he was as a younger cat roaming the jungle. Now this human reminded him of his own current matted fur and twisted tail. So he decided to eat the Ausway.
Just as the tiger lunged for the fatal strike, the Ausway farted. Not just any ordinary fart, oh no, this is the kind of fart that singes your nose hair, that makes a person (or tiger) wretch convulsively in spasms of pain as brain cells died by the thousands. The Ausway had counted on this effect as he had been eating a high-protein diet of grasshoppers for about 4 days and had also gotten into some foul tasting water. Isn't it funny no matter how bad your own farts are that they are somehow enjoyable...? I digress.
So quick as a flash, the Ausway jumped on the tigers back, grabbed those tiger ears and yanked as hard as he could! Well let me tell you, he yanked pretty damn hard because those ears came off right in his hands! Uh huh, it was pretty gross as a matter of fact, bits of grey matter flying through the air, blood spurting....yuck. Well, needless to say, the tiger was dead after this. So Ausway kept the ears.
The Ausway decided that maybe hanging out at the bottom of ravine's was not such a good idea anymore so he started walking towards the sound of voices. "you're dead!" "No I am not, that was an arm." "sluffer!" "Flurb, go play with your dice." What weird dialogue, thought the Ausway. Of course the Ausway never thought for a moment about the fact that he was wrapped in a shiny sequined robe that he found in the circus animals cart. Nor did he remember that he was still wearing the tiger's ears either.
Seems just natural that the people who he came to know as Amtgarder's would take him in. They did not question his clothes, his smell or lack of good grammer or etiquette. Heck, they seemed to admire how he could stand still for hours without so much as twitching a muscle. They never did learn where he came from, how he got there or even why he still hangs around.
They just...sang the song that still echo's through my head all these years later...."It's not the right way, it's not the wrong way, It's the Ausway!" I still don't know what the hell that means.
Affiliated Groups
Belted Family
Kitty-at-Arms to Sunflower
Additional Images
