Scarlet Meanies

Description

Four words: Evil and More Evil. Damn right.

We are all that is wrong with the game today. The entire purpose of our lives is to ruin and destroy the game of Amtgard, to mangle and desecrate the fun of all of those who are not us. We boil babies in sesame oil and use their bones to pick our teeth. We blast Bryan Adams songs during court. We core out your weapons when you're not looking. We hate Ugly People. And Fat People. And we REALLY hate ugly, fat people.

Yeah, that's right. We're Meanies. Big, Bad, Horrible, Mean Old Meanies.

To Join

Riiiiight... Like we'd let you join US. Maybe... Just maybe we might let you join if you are pretty enough, smart enough, and evil enough.

History

The Scarlet Meanies are a new household, centered in the Iron Mountains, filled with all of the hateful oppressors of that most dreaded of black holes of Evilness, "The Core." We are the present incarnations of some of the most dreaded murderers and oppressors throughout history.

Our Goal

Our evil plan is to slowly and surely gain absolute domination. Today Amtgard, Tomorrow, the World!!! *insert evil laughter track here*

Members

• Casca - Cascigula
• Cullum - Culeiman the Magnificent
• Cutari - Ayatollah Khutari
• Grendel - Grenghis Khan
• Kord - Kordolf Hitler
• Medryn - Meddy de Sade
• Moss - Benito Mossolini
• Takezu - Takezu de Torquemada
• Talisin - Joseph Stalisin

Introductions, Interviews, and Outtakes

"Hi, my name is Joseph Stalisin! I'm a Pisces and my favorite things are long walks on the beach, the smell of a good log fire and roasting peasants in an open pit. My heroes include Patrick Bateman, Henry VIII, Niccolò Machiavelli, Lancelot and Hannibal Lecter. I've been in Amtgard for a really long time now, but I've only really been evil since 1999. I suppose you could say that I started down the road to evil in 1995 after a series of personal traumas showed me the inherent flaws in being a good guy, but when I received my first knight's belt, well, I guess you could say that's when my true inner evil began to flourish. Turn-offs include knuckle-cracking, body odor, people too stupid to even BE manipulated and elections that haven't been properly rigged." - Stalisin

"Greetings and Salutations! My name is Kordolf Hitler. I'm a relative new-comer to the evil scene, having only really broken into the market at Rakis of 2006. I've been in Amtgard since 1995, but it took me a long time and a lot of exposure to fully complete my conversion to the dark side. And I gotta tell you, it feels great to be evil! Nothing pleases me more than to be able to squash the hopes and dreams of yougn impressionable Amtgards beneath my Draconian-purple Stilleto heels. Some of my heroes include Good ol' Joe Stalin, Pol Pot, Caligula, and Simon Cowell. I enjoy kicking small children, stealing squires, ripping apart families, eating red meat, and bonsai grooming. Turn-offs include lack of punctuation, needles, passive-aggressive behavior, and the scent of lavendar." -Kordolf

"Hi, i'm Cascigula. My turn ons include killing endagered species for gourmet meals, hiking, sharpened sporks, well constructed insults, and the scent of burning flesh. I enjoy pretending to befriend people and then later stabbing them in the back with drawn out rants at their expense, as well as being a well-renown interkingdom instigator and troublemaker. My turn offs include Frankie Smith, boquets of roses, and necks that don't sever with the first ax chop. My idols include Attila the Hun, Elizabeth Bathory, Alferd Packer, and MacGuyver. I started evil when I was really too young to recall. My earliest memory of being evil is when I was 5. ...My mom got me a doll for my birthday, but I wanted troops to invade Canada with, not a stupid doll. I spent the rest of my birthday making minescule thumbscrews and a miniature iron maiden to torture that doll with. My mother found its battered remains stuffed into her morning pot of coffee the next day... *far away smile* Ahhh.... Yes, those were the days..." -Cascigula

"Takezu de Torquemada, Founder of the IM inquisition here. Guess I will never know when I turned to evil but if I had to guess it all started when it hit me that no one could ever tell Po or Takezu apart. Thus I whenever I got into trouble it was easy to shift blame to Po. Any act of suppression was simple, Do what you want then blame Po for being evil. The system worked well until Po left for greener pastures and I was forced to find another way to enact my devious plans to enact my plans for IM domination. That was of course politics, as religion just takes so dam long to enact and you almost always have to be dead to be worshiped as a god I truly am. Oh and what a ride it has been. Favorite activities brokering votes, Corpora bending and of course the star chamber. Turn offs koolaid and people who can’t understand its not there turn yet." -Torquemada

"Greetings, I am Culeiman the Magnificent, Scourge of All Christendom (and Those Guys Out East, Too). After a long and storied career as a good guy, I turned to evil after it came out that "things weren't like this" when I was King. I have to say, I've never looked back, and am having the time of my life! I enjoy the moral high-ground and the works of great artists, like the fiddle music of Nero and the performance pieces of the Marquis de Sade, and mocking people until they can no longer sustain an erection (and then mocking them for that). My heroes include Napoleon Boneparte, Saladin, the last King of Scotland, Idi Aman, and my personal Lord and Savior, JC his own bad self. Likes include the domination of the will of others, stealing candy from babies (and those who act like them)... mmmm, candy, and being right (which I always am, BTW). Dislikes include poor grammar, the misuse of the word "alot," people who think that everyone thinks the same way they do, Aramitharis references, ego trips, monkeys (except the one), Gog (but not Magog), Paris (Hilton), Paris (France), Paris (of Troy), Eric Bana, Banananananas, monkeys again (but still except the one), poo-flinging monkeys (literal or metaphorical), exercise, poorly rigged elections, obvious political manipulation (you should be good enough not to get caught, sheesh!), people who think that "to," "too," and "two" are interchangeable, people who don't think, people who think too much, people who let their fear control them, people who don't fear me, the letters "Q" and "G" and the number 12, and monkeys (except the one)." -Culeiman

"Greetings peon, I would just like to take some time to talk about myself. I'm "The Core" you've heard everyone talking about, yep that's me. I guess it all started with under the table deals with Kordolf a couple years back to rise to power. I used to run with the Rogues but they were just too nice for my taste. Now I enjoy impalements by sunset, making fun of kids from all over, recently in the eastern midwest, running off members of the park, and various other acts of spiritual debasement. I go a viking and raiding in my (little) spare time, ensuring the spread of my pagan ways and seed. my turn offs are people with tiny hands, cold feet on my back in the middle of the night, Takezu's hat collection, customer service complaints, kids who don't stand up for themselves, people that prey upon the weakness of the young and inexperienced (because that's MY job) and Stalisin's cooking." -Grenghis

Stalisin: "The Scarlet Meanies: Don't Hate Us Because We're Beautiful."

Photos

"Ooooo! I've got it!
'Kordolf: I'm in ur household, steeling ur squirez!'
No wait...
'Kordolf: Ruinin' Misties fun since 2006.'
Oh! Even better...
'Kordolf: I MADE MIKE HUCKABEE!'
Hmm... How about:
'It's not paranoia. Kordolf really is out to get you.'
Maybe an AoD reference?
'Female: Are all people from the core vindictive megalomaniacs?
Kordolf: Just me, baby. Just me.'"

Stalisin: Repressing peasants since 1999.

The favored drink of the Scarlet Meanies.

The favored snack food of the Scarlet Meanies.

More Information

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