Dirty Filthy Stinky John

Dirty Filthy Stinky John

By Staccatto Toccata

Back when I first played in the Crimson Sanctum, a little "salute" caught on amongst a few members. Basically, one places their index fingers together and their thumbs together in front of them, then turns their wrists until their index fingers point towards the floor and their thumbs towards the sky, in a shape resembling a woman's anatomy. This was often used to question another person's masculenity or fighting prowess in a horribly mysogenistic and immature fasion... so it was little wonder that it was popular in the Sanctum. This would become known as the "John Salute" named after one Terrence Winters. I later wrote this song with the hopes that the salute would live on forever. This was the first Amtgard song I completed. -Staccatto

Intro (Last half played as outro as well, followed by a slow down strum of C)

Hold C (X, 3, 2, 0, 1, 0) and fingerpick in 6/8:

5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2

5, 2, 2, 1, X, X.

5, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2

5, 2, 1, 2, X, X.

C: Here in the Sanctum we have a special salute

G: When a man acts a fool or otherwise a brute

C: Touch your thumbs and your fingers and bow at the waist

G: But don’t do this often; it’s considered poor taste

C: If you gather around, I will explain

G: Why to call a man a “John” brings him great pain

Play intro during choruses:

Dirty filthy stinky John.

Dirty filthy stinky John.

Dirty filthy stinky, dirty filthy stinky,

John John John John.

(x2)

This is…

C: The story of Terrance, a man of few friends

G: And those who knew him mocked him to no end.

C: He was smarter than an ox, but not by too much.

G: He fought like a woman, but knew not one’s touch.

C: Needless to say, not a popular guy,

G: They called him a “John” and I’ll tell you why.

He’s a…

Chorus x2

C: At the edge of his town lived a wretched old hag

G: With a face like manure and breasts like leather bags

C: One day this spinster caught Terrance’s eye

G: She lifted her skirt past her calves and her thighs

C: And then Terrance saw, what never thought he’d see

G: A woman had shown him her a-na-tom-y.

Her…

Chorus x2