You Never Spar Me, You Pushover

By Guardian Drū-Kära Silverblqde

This filk song is dedicated to all my stickjock girlfriends of Amtgard who contend with flurby boyfriends.
(Sung to "You Never Call Me When You're Sober" by Evanescence")

Don't cry to me
If you loved me,
You would be here, ditching.
You want me
Come fight me.
Move your behind.

Did you trip and fall?
Lose your balls?
It's a wonder you can find your sword.
Can't keep retreating.
You're only deceiving
Yourself, cuz you can't hit a girl.
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me
If you loved me,
You would be here, ditching.
You want me
Come fight me.
Move your behind.

Couldn't play the game.
Sick with shame.
It must be exhausting
to live cuz you're lame.
Minorly rated.
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't take the swordplay this time.
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me
If you loved me,
You would be here, ditching.
You want me
Come fight me.
Move your behind.

You never spar me, you pushover.
You only come when it is over.
Oh, oh, it's over.
How could I have heard all your lies?
How could I....??? when you would never fight.

Don't cry to me
If you loved me,
You would be here, ditching.
Don't lie to me.
Just get your things,
and go flurb online.