First Weapon Syndrome

The first weapon newly minted Amtgardians make often share a number of traits:

• Huge
• Heavy (even for their size)
• UGLY (and rarely have a cover)

The first weapon will often possess these traits even in the face of advice to the contrary by more experienced players. Some people cannot learn from other's mistakes and must make them for themselves. Such people should avoid things like "heroin" and "plutonium".

First weapons are often staffs or reach weapons. Polearms and spears are rare, as are "long" and "short" swords. Non-reach swords, fail to meet the first criteria, "huge"... though it's possible to still qualify as FWS with sufficient quantities of "heavy" and "ugly".

This happens often enough that some people have taken to naming this behavior: "First Weapon Syndrome".

Such weapons are often so epically bad that they are given a name.

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Examples:

• "Santa's Li'l Helper" - a great sword made by Tarkas back in the day of weight restrictions on said weaponry, named for it's red & green color scheme. This weapon was responsible for at least one person's exit from Amtgard. It has reportedly been banished to Glorious Leader's garage.
• "The Ugly Stick" - PVC cored weapon with several different brands of duct tape and uneven layers of slit pool noodle - No Boots
• "The Battelabra" - A right-angled PVC "sai" covered in gold stretch fabric that resembled a candelabra - Miles Ookami
• "The Putzana", an orphaned first attempt collectively inherited by the Shire of the Howling Winds, a 3' artifact made of duct tape, insomnia, and drug-induced delirium. Better balanced when held by the tip rather than the hilt, it resembled a cross between a rotting banana and a very ugly erotic artifact.
• "The Giant Groo Sword", wielded by Ghost of Crimson Wood.
• "Tit-anic", constructed & wielded by Rangor Treecrusher of Siar Geata. Tit-anic fails the "ugly" criteria in that it is symmetric and (now) has a cover, but more than makes up for it in the "huge" and "heavy" departments.
• "MacBeth" A reach weapon first made by Stone, made of purple sewage-pipe PVC, the core itself was almost 2 inches wide, and three pounds. Upon completion, it weighed about 7-8 pounds, and was covered (ill-fittingly) with two pillowcases, duct-taped together. Weapon never made it out onto the field, but still holds a memory to many of Stone's friends at the time.