Kaadiart AnaMayn
Contents
Count Kaadiart Hearts AnaMayn Esquire, Master Druid of Gryphon's Perch Rising Winds
DISCLAIMER:
You should probably take everything on this amtwiki page absolutely seriously.
There's a lot to say about Kaads, none of it good. This page ecists to try and explain why that is.
Biography
Kaads started playing amtgard in 1999 in Valparaiso, Indiana, the global epicenter of chlamydia infections, at the shire of Crusader's Cove. Even after moving away, he still comes up almost every week when someone inevitably says "I'm sure glad Kaads moved to the fucking desert! I actually enjoy this game now." Well known throughout Roleplaying circles as an able druid, nobody keeps him around for that. There are lots of good druids out there but most of them can't make the person in front of them cry within 2 minutes of talking to them no matter who it is. Despite his obvious lack of war skill, the entertainment value of this aspect of Kaads makes him a hot commodity. Mostly known and hated for his online antics, he is a cool headed guy who just likes to have fun and doesn't take the game very seriously at all. And if you believe that, I'll sell you this gently used, immaculately cared for bridge for the low low price of $19,999.95. He was a bitter, annoying staple at RW events until he moved away to the desert to hide and fuck with sand people until he starts stalking a young force user with amazing glutes and then gets killed by the guy's dad for being a creep.
Personality and Demeanor
Kaads has been called a number of hateful, ignorant things like "e-Tard" and other various insults for his cool yet unstable and at times caustic personality. In 2014, doctors discovered the reason behind this cryptic trait. Since 1991, Kaads has been having a continuous micro-stroke which is still going on to this day. This also explains why he sucks at stick. At any given moment in time, Kaads is operating on less than 6% of the average human brain's functional capacity while simultaneously suffering from chronic hypoxia due to the lack of blood flow through his brain. All that taken into account, he's still smarter than 99% of Amtgarders by several orders of magnitude and is one of only 4 Amtgarders globally to have held a job for longer than 3 months.
Sexuality
Kaads is beyond being remotely fuckable by any standard so that ship sailed years ago. Take a look at the profile pic above FFS.
White Kanye West
The parallels between Kaads and Kanye West are many. People often confuse the two of them in public and when both are in full on freestyle mode, they spit identically hot fire. Despite his many many attempts however, Kim Kardashian still won't fuck Kaads.
Belted Family
Kaads has three squires:
- Willow A'mor from Woodhaven Keep
- Dedsune from Gryphon's Perch.
- Paint Taylor from Madoc's Keep
Notable Quotes
"Raven can't get it up unless he DROWNS A BABY." (In reference to Raven the Muse. Kaads famously got banned from the Rising Winds Yahoo Group for this one. Raven would never drown a perfectly fuckable baby.
"I'm the white Kanye West bitches! White Kanye!"
"Also, I can always hit people in the face with Flameblade, setting their hair on fire. I've ordered the Reeve's guild to shatter people who don't RP it." -As GMR
Notable Accomplishments
- Kaads is one of 4 Amtgarders globally to have an actual job.
- Kaads is a Walker in the Middle.
- Kaads is a Master Smith
- Kaads is the white Kanye
- Kaads was kicked out of Frenzy United for actually transforming Kravin into a man-sized vagina.
- The only person to ever have their email account banned from the RW yahoo group.
- Looks like Vigo the carpathian from ghostbusters 2 if you get him angry.
- Has raging chronic chlamydia like everyone in Valpo.
- First in the Rising Winds to hold All Five Offices.
- Tied with Varas to be the first person in the Rising Winds to hold All Four Offices.
- Singlehandedly killed the Synging Sands
- Singlehandedly killed Thundering Rivers
Positions
- Guildmaster of Reeves of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, June 2012 - Present
- Regent* - PWN, March 2012 - June 2012
- Monarch* - PWN, September 2011 - March 2012
- Regent of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, March 2011 - September 2011
- Champion of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, September 2010 - March 2011
- Monarch of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, March 2010 - September 2010
- Prime Minister of The Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, November 2008 - November 2009
- Science Officer (PM) of GP, June 2008 - November 2008
- Regent* - PWN, September 2007 - March 2008
- Champion* - PWN, March 2007 - June 2007
*Did not actually/does not plan to do any work in these positions; the park runs itself. Only took them to get out of paying dues. What a dick.
More Information
- Company Website
