Difference between revisions of "Kaadiart AnaMayn"
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| − | ==[[ | + | ==[[Marquis]] Swamptits Fireorgasm [[Esquire]], [[Paragon Druid]], [[Paragon Healer]], [[Paragon Paladin]], [[Paragon Wizard]] of [[Crimson Circle]], [[Polaris]]== |
DISCLAIMER: | DISCLAIMER: | ||
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http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f363/zeteginara/IMG_0696.jpg | http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f363/zeteginara/IMG_0696.jpg | ||
| − | There's a lot to say about | + | There's a lot to say about Swamptits, none of it good. This page exists to try and explain why that is. |
===Biography=== | ===Biography=== | ||
| − | + | Swamptits started playing amtgard in 1999 in Valparaiso, Indiana, the global epicenter of chlamydia infections, at the shire of [[Crusader's Cove]]. Even after moving away, he still comes up almost every week when someone inevitably says "I'm sure glad Swamptits moved to the fucking desert! I actually enjoy this game now." Well known throughout [[Roleplaying]] circles as an able [[druid]], nobody keeps him around for that. There are lots of good druids out there but most of them can't make the person in front of them cry within 2 minutes of talking to them no matter who it is. Despite his obvious lack of war skill, the entertainment value of this aspect of Swamptits makes him a hot commodity. Mostly known and hated for his online antics, he is a cool headed guy who just likes to have fun and doesn't take the game very seriously at all. And if you believe that, I'll sell you this gently used, immaculately cared for bridge for the low low price of $19,999.95. He was a bitter, annoying staple at [[RW]] events until he moved away to the desert to hide and fuck with sand people until he starts stalking a young force user with amazing glutes and then gets killed by the guy's dad for being a creep. | |
===Personality and Demeanor=== | ===Personality and Demeanor=== | ||
| − | + | Swamptits has been called a number of hateful, ignorant things like "e-Tard" and other various insults for his cool yet unstable and at times caustic personality. In 2014, doctors discovered the reason behind this cryptic trait. Since 1991, Swamptits has been having a continuous micro-stroke which is still going on to this day. This also explains why he sucks at stick. At any given moment in time, Swamptits is operating on less than 6% of the average human brain's functional capacity while simultaneously suffering from chronic hypoxia due to the lack of blood flow through his brain. All that taken into account, he's still smarter than 99% of Amtgarders by several orders of magnitude and is one of only 4 Amtgarders globally to have held a job for longer than 3 months. | |
===Sexuality=== | ===Sexuality=== | ||
| − | + | Swamptits is beyond being remotely fuckable by any standard so that ship sailed years ago. Take a look at the profile pic above FFS. He is definitely a ghey fish though as evidenced by his well documented love of fish dicks. | |
===White Kanye West=== | ===White Kanye West=== | ||
| − | The parallels between | + | The parallels between Swamptits and Kanye West are many. People often confuse the two of them in public and when both are in full on freestyle mode, they spit identically hot fire. Despite his many many attempts however, Kim Kardashian still won't fuck Swamptits. |
| Line 24: | Line 24: | ||
"Raven can't get it up unless he DROWNS A BABY." | "Raven can't get it up unless he DROWNS A BABY." | ||
| − | (In reference to [[Raven the Muse]]. | + | (In reference to [[Raven the Muse]]. Swamptits famously got banned from the Rising Winds Yahoo Group for this one. Raven would never drown a perfectly fuckable baby.) |
"I'm the white Kanye West bitches! White Kanye!" | "I'm the white Kanye West bitches! White Kanye!" | ||
| Line 35: | Line 35: | ||
===Notable Accomplishments=== | ===Notable Accomplishments=== | ||
| − | * | + | *Swamptits is one of 4 Amtgarders globally to have an actual job. |
| − | * | + | *Swamptits is a [[Order of the Walker of the Middle|Walker in the Middle]]. |
| − | * | + | *Swamptits is a [[Master Smith|Master Smith]] |
| − | * | + | *Swamptits is the white Kanye |
| − | * | + | *Swamptits was kicked out of [[Frenzy|Frenzy United]] for actually transforming [[Kravin Morehead|Kravin]] into a man-sized vagina. |
*The only person to ever have their email account banned from the RW yahoo group. | *The only person to ever have their email account banned from the RW yahoo group. | ||
*Looks like Vigo the carpathian from ghostbusters 2 if you get him angry. | *Looks like Vigo the carpathian from ghostbusters 2 if you get him angry. | ||
Revision as of 07:57, 1 February 2020
Contents
Marquis Swamptits Fireorgasm Esquire, Paragon Druid, Paragon Healer, Paragon Paladin, Paragon Wizard of Crimson Circle, Polaris
DISCLAIMER:
You should probably take everything on this amtwiki page absolutely seriously.
There's a lot to say about Swamptits, none of it good. This page exists to try and explain why that is.
Biography
Swamptits started playing amtgard in 1999 in Valparaiso, Indiana, the global epicenter of chlamydia infections, at the shire of Crusader's Cove. Even after moving away, he still comes up almost every week when someone inevitably says "I'm sure glad Swamptits moved to the fucking desert! I actually enjoy this game now." Well known throughout Roleplaying circles as an able druid, nobody keeps him around for that. There are lots of good druids out there but most of them can't make the person in front of them cry within 2 minutes of talking to them no matter who it is. Despite his obvious lack of war skill, the entertainment value of this aspect of Swamptits makes him a hot commodity. Mostly known and hated for his online antics, he is a cool headed guy who just likes to have fun and doesn't take the game very seriously at all. And if you believe that, I'll sell you this gently used, immaculately cared for bridge for the low low price of $19,999.95. He was a bitter, annoying staple at RW events until he moved away to the desert to hide and fuck with sand people until he starts stalking a young force user with amazing glutes and then gets killed by the guy's dad for being a creep.
Personality and Demeanor
Swamptits has been called a number of hateful, ignorant things like "e-Tard" and other various insults for his cool yet unstable and at times caustic personality. In 2014, doctors discovered the reason behind this cryptic trait. Since 1991, Swamptits has been having a continuous micro-stroke which is still going on to this day. This also explains why he sucks at stick. At any given moment in time, Swamptits is operating on less than 6% of the average human brain's functional capacity while simultaneously suffering from chronic hypoxia due to the lack of blood flow through his brain. All that taken into account, he's still smarter than 99% of Amtgarders by several orders of magnitude and is one of only 4 Amtgarders globally to have held a job for longer than 3 months.
Sexuality
Swamptits is beyond being remotely fuckable by any standard so that ship sailed years ago. Take a look at the profile pic above FFS. He is definitely a ghey fish though as evidenced by his well documented love of fish dicks.
White Kanye West
The parallels between Swamptits and Kanye West are many. People often confuse the two of them in public and when both are in full on freestyle mode, they spit identically hot fire. Despite his many many attempts however, Kim Kardashian still won't fuck Swamptits.
Notable Quotes
"Raven can't get it up unless he DROWNS A BABY." (In reference to Raven the Muse. Swamptits famously got banned from the Rising Winds Yahoo Group for this one. Raven would never drown a perfectly fuckable baby.)
"I'm the white Kanye West bitches! White Kanye!"
"Also, I can always hit people in the face with Flameblade, setting their hair on fire. I've ordered the Reeve's guild to shatter people who don't RP it." -As GMR
"I'm definitely a ghey fish! Get them fish dicks up in me yo!"
"The last time I was at an RW shindig, I got blamed for everything and then everything there tried to ban me. So I dumpster fired the whole place to the ground."
Notable Accomplishments
- Swamptits is one of 4 Amtgarders globally to have an actual job.
- Swamptits is a Walker in the Middle.
- Swamptits is a Master Smith
- Swamptits is the white Kanye
- Swamptits was kicked out of Frenzy United for actually transforming Kravin into a man-sized vagina.
- The only person to ever have their email account banned from the RW yahoo group.
- Looks like Vigo the carpathian from ghostbusters 2 if you get him angry.
- Has raging chronic chlamydia like everyone in Valpo.
- First in the Rising Winds to hold All Five Offices.
- First in the Rising Winds to hold All Four Offices.
- Singlehandedly killed the Synging Sands
- Singlehandedly killed Thundering Rivers
- Singlehandedly killed Valley of the Forgotten Giants
Positions
- Guildmaster of Reeves of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, June 2012 - Present
- Regent* - PWN, March 2012 - June 2012
- Monarch* - PWN, September 2011 - March 2012
- Regent of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, March 2011 - September 2011
- Champion of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, September 2010 - March 2011
- Monarch of the Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, March 2010 - September 2010
- Prime Minister of The Kingdom of the Valley of the Rising Winds, November 2008 - November 2009
- Science Officer (PM) of GP, June 2008 - November 2008
- Regent* - PWN, September 2007 - March 2008
- Champion* - PWN, March 2007 - June 2007
*Did not actually/does not plan to do any work in these positions; the park runs itself. Only took them to get out of paying dues. What a dick.
More Information
- Company Website
