The Ivory Tower Alchemy Guild
'FRODO' There?s an inn of old renown Where they brew a beer so brown Moon came rolling down the hill One Hevnsday night to drink his fill. 'FRODO/MERRY' On a three-stringed fiddle there Played the Ostler?s cat so fair The horn?d Cow that night was seen To dance a jig upon the green. Called by the fiddle to the Middle of the muddle where the Cow with a caper sent the Small dog squealing. Moon in a fuddle went to Huddle by the griddle but he Slipped in a puddle and the World went reeling. Downsides went up- hey! Outsides went wide. As the fiddle Played a twiddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides went west- hey! Broadsides went boom. With a twiddle on the fiddle In the middle by the griddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. 'FRODO' Dish from off the dresser pranced, Found a spoon and gaily danced. 'PIPPIN' Horses neighed and champed their bits For the bloodshot Moon had lost his wits. 'MERRY' Well, cow jumped over, Dog barked wild, Moon lay prone and sweetly smiled. 'SAM' Ostler cried, ?Play faster, Cat! 'ALL' Because we all want to dance like that.? 'FRODO/PIPPIN' Gambol and totter till you?re Hotter than a hatter and you Spin all akimbo Like a windmill flailing. Whirl with a clatter till you Scatter every cotter and the Strings start a-pinging as the World goes sailing. 'ALL HOBBITS' Downsides go up- hey! Outsides go wide. You can clatter With your platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides go west- hey! Broadsides go boom. With a batter and a clatter You can shatter every platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle Hey-yey-yey-yey-oh-ho Hey-yey-yey-yey-oh-ho Hey-hey-din-gen-do Hey-hey-din-geli-do Hoo-rye-and-hott-a-cott-a ho Hoo-rye-and-hott-a-cott-a ho ho Hott-a-cott-a-hotta-ko Hott-a-cott-a-ko-cott-a-ko-ho Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle-hi-ho Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle-hi-ho Ho fiddlee-ding-galli-do Ho fiddlee-ding-galli-do Hoo-rye-hoo-rye oops-oops- ay! Hoo-rye-hoo-rye oops-oops- ay! Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo! Downsides go up- hey! Outsides go wide. With a twiddle on the fiddle In the middle by the griddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides go west- hey! Broadsides go boom. With a batter and a clatter You can shatter every platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday.
Once upon a time during a particularly avid bardic practice at a local tavern, the would-be members of the Ivory Tower Alchemists guild ordered a slew of drinks from the barmaid. A performance of liquors were poured into their cups, and then, confusion. She sheepishly asked Matosai and Kite if they remembered which booze had gone into which up, and ended up guessing which mixers matched each clear, delicious fluid.
None were correct, and after sampling the drinks around the table, it was agreed that Matosai got the worst of the deal; the others being drinkable, but mediocre. After singing a song, Matosai returned to the table and attempted to choke down the next gulp of his beverage, but to his amazement, the drink had metamorphosed into something completely different. As it progressed, the drink took upon form after form! Truely, a magical concoction.
The rest of the evening was spent replicating and experimenting with the magic formulation; a closely guarded secret amongst the Ivory Tower Alchemists Guild.